253 Deals in 2023, Working an Hour a Day

Steve Trang: Everybody. Thank you for joining us for today's episode of Real Estate Disrupters. Today, we have Brad Chandler with Brad Chandler Coaching, and Brad flew in from Fairfax, Virginia. Tell him how his company did 250 plus deals last year, working only an hour a week. It's a crazy, crazy stat.

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Brad Chandler: I'm ready.

Steve: Alright. So the first question is is what was your life like right before you got into real estate?

Brad: Wow. Well, I was in education. I was in school. Yeah. I was in college.

Steve: Okay. In college for what?

Brad: Real estate. Sorry. You went

Steve: to college for real estate?

Brad: I did. I read a book when I was in ninth grade on how to buy real estate with no money down by Robert Allen, who I got to meet, like, a month ago at the mastermind that you have.

Steve: My family? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

So So you read that in ninth grade?

Brad: Right. Ninth grade.

Steve: And you went to college for real estate. There's only one other person I know that went to college for real estate, and that's Matthew Potter. He does the the par and the disruption

Brad: Oh, okay. Show.

Steve: Actually, went to college for real estate.

Brad: Cool.

Steve: So you went to college for real estate, and then you graduated?

Brad: Yeah. So I always knew I wanna do real estate because Wow. Unlimited income. Yeah. I wanted to make a lot of money, and we'll get to that later why I wanted and needed to make a lot of money.

Yeah. So I went to Virginia Tech undergrad, got a, residential property management degree. I was being groomed to go work for a national apartment REIT, but I also got a concentration. They just started a concentration in real estate. It was like real estate finance, real estate sales, real estate.

Maybe development, I don't remember, it was a long time ago. And then I came out and worked for an apartment REIT, and then I'm like, I'm not a corporate guy. I don't wanna climb the corporate ladder. So I went back to school to get my MBA from University of Wisconsin, one of the top five real estate programs in real estate, came out and worked for a developer. Mhmm.

And then in late two thousand two, an investor bought my neighbor's house. And I went and talked to him, and he said, I buy houses at 30% below market, fix them up, and resell them. I was like, I'm gonna do that. So

Steve: hang up before we get into all that. So you went to college, and then after college, you worked for a REIT?

Brad: I worked for a REIT, AvalonBay, one of the premier apartment REITs.

Steve: So for those that are less informed about REITs, can you elaborate what a REIT is?

Brad: Yes. It stands for real estate investment trust. It's basically, it's a public company

Steve: Mhmm.

Brad: That is owned by stockholders that in, invest in whatever. This happened to be apartments, upper scale class a apartments around the country.

Steve: Yeah. So REITs are fascinating to me. Right? Because you don't really learn a lot about REITs. And then I become a licensed realtor.

I get into real estate. I'm doing deals, and then I get into commercial. I thought, you know, we all graduate from residential to commercial. Like, that's just, like, this idea you have. Right.

Brad: I don't

Steve: know who plants this seed, but it's planted somewhere. And I get into, like, looking at commercial properties for leasing. Like, I'm leasing this commercial building. And I didn't understand that commercial, it does the cash flow doesn't matter. Right?

Because I'll have a property vacant forever, and they just don't care. I was like, how can they not care? If I own a commercial building, I'm gonna care Yeah. That it's vacant than that cash flowing. Yeah.

But for a REIT, they're like, yeah. If we cash flow if we rent it out below market rent, then the value goes down. So REITs don't care, or at least the people managing the REITs don't care about cash flow. They care about the value of the asset. It's mind boggling.

Yeah. Right?

Brad: It's a different world when you have that much money.

Steve: Yeah. When you're when you're deploying tens or hundreds of billions of dollars, you have different financial issues. Yes. Right. So you saw that world.

That was an uninteresting world. It was too corporate, too Wall Street.

Brad: You know, I think I was inspired by my dad. I needed control. I didn't have a lot of control as a child, and entrepreneurs often start businesses because they want control.

Steve: Right.

Brad: But we don't control anything in this world except our thoughts, and you actually get control by giving up control.

Steve: So Yeah. So then you went to go work for a developer, and that was that?

Brad: No. That developer, he bought rundown apartments and then converted them, fixed them up, and converted them to condos. And it was during working for him that I ran into this investor at my neighbor that bought my neighbor's house.

Steve: Right. But were you satisfied or fulfilled working there or that was me either?

Brad: Not at all. No. So what were making, like, $60, and then I negotiated, like, a a a raise to, like, $92,000, but I didn't like working for somebody.

Steve: So let's talk about that. Like because there's gonna be people listening right now that maybe are still working their job, and they don't want to work for somebody.

Brad: Yeah.

Steve: So what were those experiences that you had or those feelings that you had when you were working for somebody?

Brad: Just someone controlling me. You know, for the last twenty years now, I when I'm sick, I just don't get out of bed. Right. I'm not sick much.

Steve: I'm hardly ever sick. When I go on and go on vacation,

Brad: I don't need to call anybody. Yeah. I don't answer to anybody. Yeah. So, yeah, that's that that's the feeling that I love, and that's what I didn't have then that I did not like.

Steve: Right. So the idea of having to submit request to HR for time Yeah.

Brad: It I mean, it wasn't even that. Just just calling and being like, can I take the day off? Can can I go on a vacation?

Steve: Yeah. So then you meet someone buys your neighbor's house. Yeah. So and he and you just, like, walked over and talked to him. Like, what was that scenario?

Brad: Yeah. So the neighbor's house was a recluse that lived there, and the place was a just a wreck. So I had gold sitting right under my nose, but I had no idea what to do. Yeah. So all of a sudden, the house is, like, transformed, and he's got, like, 14 people in the house.

I'm like, this is really weird. What's going on? And he was having a seminar. He taught people how to do that. So

Steve: So he bought the house and then had an event in house. Rehabbed it and then

Brad: had an event. And my dad had this addiction to buying golf clubs. And so I had, like, rows of golf clubs. I was, like, doing a yard sale, and he was a golfer. And so we just kinda hit it off and started talking.

Steve: Got it. So ninth grade, you pick up, buy houses, no money down. You didn't do anything in regards to buying houses, no money down? No. Nothing with it?

Brad: Nothing.

Steve: You didn't did you even, like, look up, like, a Robert Allen seminar or you just went straight to the education route and then you see this guy, and then he just, like, reignites?

Brad: Yeah. My parents expected me to go to college. Yeah. They had gone to college. Both of them had graduate level degrees, so I had to go to college.

So it was just, okay. I'm going to college. Yeah. I gotta go to college.

Steve: So this is gonna be a challenge for myself because I have so I have a master's degree in electrical engineering. My wife has a master's degree in computer science. I can foresee my oldest child telling me this is not for me. Right? Like, she's at at 12 years old, she's, I think, like, a third away through StoryBrand because she wants to build websites and sell them

Brad: Oh my gosh.

Steve: That's awesome. Provider. Right?

Brad: That's awesome.

Steve: I love it.

Brad: Embrace it.

Steve: I am. However, you're talking about your parents expecting you to go to college. They went to college. You went to like, you're expecting you to go to college. My wife has a really high expectation on our kids.

All three kids went to college. Like, well, this is gonna be a challenge later on. Right? So, okay. So you're you you strike up a conversation with this guy who's buying golf clubs.

Right? I imagine he's probably negotiating with you.

Brad: He he didn't buy anything. He just kinda laughed. He's like, where'd you get all these golf clubs? I'm like, my dad has a problem.

Steve: Yeah. So then what'd you do with that? Did you get lunch with this guy? Like

Brad: No. I literally committed that day. This was probably October '20 excuse me, 2002. I'm like, I'm gonna buy houses. And my dad, who is an attorney, literally started Almost TV.

He was one of the first attorneys to do TV advertising. Mhmm. So I'm like, TV advertisement, buying houses. That's what I'm gonna do. Yeah.

So I I literally made a promise to myself. I'm gonna start this. And it took me eight long months of just really hard work to find my

Steve: first deal. So you made you see this guy. He holds an event at this house. And from there, you're saying, I'm gonna do this. Yeah.

And you said eight months to buy your first house.

Brad: Eight months.

Steve: So what you made a promise to yourself, but we all know promises are not enough. So what did you do right then and there?

Brad: I literally started, going to RIA meetings at the time. Oh. They didn't have meetups, so I went to the RIA meetings. I don't even know. He pro oh, he he invited me.

He had a RIA. That's it. And I went to his, and then I went to another one because I met people and they're like, oh, you should go to this one. And I keep showing up every week and these guys are holding up checks, wholesaling 5,000, 10,000, rehabbers making 40,000. And I'm like, well, the re the wholesalings, that's for the less sophisticated person.

Yeah. I'm smart. I've got credit. I did negative 80,000 on our net worth, but I've got credit. Yeah.

So I, just started grassroots guerrilla marketing. Mhmm. Literally hand addressed hundreds of envelopes to, sellers. I'd I'd pull up the tax roll or something. I would do door hangers.

I would put out we buy houses signs. When the DC Sniper is out picking off people, we were banging d we were banging signs out.

Steve: So this is in the back of your mind as you're putting band signs down.

Brad: Yeah. Yeah. And then every day, I got more and more persistent. And I'm like, if they can do it, I can do it. Yeah.

And it happened. It all kinda came together in in July and August.

Steve: So it was just going to rehab meetings, putting up signs, sending out letters. How many calls were you getting along the way?

Brad: Oh, hardly any.

Steve: Hardly any. Hardly any. And this is that part we're gonna talk about later on about childhood trauma. Right? But one of the things that I think, you know, as us being somewhat damaged individuals is they're willing to persevere through adversity a lot longer.

Right? So you're saying no hardly any calls, but you kept going. Why? It would've been so much easier to not keep going.

Brad: I didn't know then, but I know now through the work I've done the last three years, I was proud to prove something. Mhmm. I didn't feel worthy.

Steve: Yeah.

Brad: I had to prove something. I thought money would bring me to a certain state of happiness and worthiness. Yeah.

Steve: So that's what kept you going That's

Brad: what kept you going.

Steve: Was that I'm not worthy today, but once this is done, I will be worthy.

Brad: Yes. But it was all unconscious. Right. I wasn't waking up saying that.

Steve: No. Yeah. No. It's it's it's our unconscious programming.

Brad: Yeah. Which drives 95% of your behavior on a daily basis. So if you're drinking, come home and you kick the dog and you yell with your wife every night and you drink three glasses of wine, you're like, I don't know why I'm doing this. It's your subconscious mind Yeah. From programming from ten, twenty, thirty years ago.

Steve: Yeah. So you're you're taking all this action. Were you still working

Brad: from the beginning? Full time job. So I'd come home at 06:00. My son was born in July of that year. Mhmm.

So I'd come home from six to eight, spend the time with him, put him to sleep, and then I'd work from eight to, like, eleven every single night and on weekends. Got it.

Steve: Okay. So talk to me about the first, first appointment. I mean, the first I bet we bought the house. Like, first appointment. Like, how was that?

Brad: I found my first appointment on a listserv. I think you're old enough to remember Yahoo listservs.

Steve: Yeah.

Brad: So I went to this appointment, and this lady had five people in a one bedroom house. Five people living inside. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

It was a three bedroom, one bath. Mhmm. Five kids. I think it was, like, six or seven. One of her children drowned in the bathtub.

She was facing the house was a disaster. I made an offer too high. She declined, but I kept in touch with her realtor. And her realtor was one of those people who called me in July 2003 and said, hey, since you're a foreclosure expert, we could really use your help. My client is a week away from foreclosure.

And I'm like, okay. Yeah. I can help. And And I hung up the phone. I'm like, oh, shit.

What have I done? And I went out and met with her. I got the house. Actually, I called the investor. I called the guy because I didn't anything.

Yeah. He's like, oh, just put it in a land trust and take a subject to blah blah blah. I'm like, what the hell did he just say? Yeah. So So he's like, call this title guy.

So the title guy walked me through it, but that's what I did. I went and offered her, like, $20,000 less. I gave her $5. Mhmm.

Steve: I took over the mortgage mortgage subject to.

Brad: She would have lost everything. She would have been homeless. She took that money and went and actually rented a really nice house, like, thirty minutes outside of town.

Steve: Yeah. So your first one, you reach out to a mentor, and they coach you through it. Yeah. Right? Which I mean, there's so much power in that simple message.

I think so many people try to do it on their own or, like, why would someone help me? Right? Like, I think there's a lot of people that when they first start in, they have this scarcity mindset. Why would anyone help me? Where you and I is obvious.

Of course, we wanna help you. Like, we want we we're naturally wired to be helpful. So you get this deal done. Did you so you took it over subject to an Elantra. So then did you sell it for revenue, or did you

Brad: keep it? Another funny story. Again, I thought you had to rehab properties because Oh, yeah. You're a flipper. Sophisticated.

I'm a sophisticated flipper, smart flipper. Right? Right. So I am, I'm about to buy the house and start the rehab, and I listen to a Ron LeGrand tape. Mhmm.

And he says, don't rehab properties. Put handyman special in the newspaper, and all of these people will show up. So I put that in the newspaper, I show up to the open house, and there is this room's pretty large. There was there was there was about the amount of trash piled this high up and these ceilings are like 10 feet in the front yard. It was crazy.

One lady shows up. One lady. I'm like, oh shit. I'd only gone to one real estate seminar and that was Robert Sheeman, who I'm still friends with to this day. And he goes here he goes, here's a standard contract.

It was literally a like three paragraphs on one page and it said standard purchase contract. And it said buyer to pay all closing costs. I'd never done a deal. But he's like just stick with the contract. So in this heap of mess, we're signing the contract.

This lady bought like 13 houses. She goes, the buyer pays all closing costs. She goes, that's not usual. I go, this is a standard contract. So she paid she paid paid the closing costs, and I made $42,000 on that house.

On that deal? On that house. I was making before I like, three months before when I renegotiated my salary from 60 to $92,000, that's what I was making. I was making $60,000. I made $42,000 on

Steve: one house. I'm like, woah. Right. So then how long did you stay in your other job?

Brad: So in July and August, I bought six houses.

Steve: Okay.

Brad: I go to my boss in in October 2003, and I said I quit. I come home, and my wife at the time, I go, I just quit. I'm starting Express Home Buyers. Mhmm. And she goes, are you crazy?

We have a newborn son, and I have two kids. How are we gonna survive? I was like, we'll be fine. And here we are 4,000 houses later. We're not still married, but it was all fine.

Steve: Yeah. It worked itself out.

Brad: It worked itself out.

Steve: Yeah. So, and that and that's I'm I'm emphasizing some of these points. Right? Because you had, like, you took action. You saw this thing.

4,000 homes later, like, you've you've done a lot of of transactions. Right? So this all started in o two, o three, you said?

Brad: O two is when I decided to do it, and o o three was when I bought my first house.

Steve: Okay. So you bought your first house. Was there any point where you had any doubts?

Brad: Yeah. Yeah. There were there were there was a Christmas where we were talking my partner and I, I was standing outside.

Steve: I can remember like it was yesterday, and it was probably twelve years ago, where where we were talking about what bankruptcy attorney we were gonna we were gonna call.

Brad: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I I lost of the first seventeen years I was in business, Steve, I made $5,000,000 trying to prove my worth that cost me and my partner $9,000,000. How? We bought three so in the first five months of 2005 Mhmm.

We netted on paper $1,500,000. Yeah. Here again, ego, like, everyone else must be dumb. This Brad Chandler guy, he's really smart.

Steve: I'm smarter than everybody else.

Brad: I'm smarter than everybody, and I'm gonna take the world by storm, and I'm gonna be retired here in a couple years. Mhmm. So why mess around with homes? We're gonna go I could I I, consider development commercial. Right?

It's not fine and fixing fixing houses. So we bought three development deals. One was a single family one was a what's that? In o five. In o five.

One was a single family house in North Arlington. If we had just known what we were doing, we could have looked at a title report and in fifteen minutes saw that it was a quarter lot and we could not subdivide it. Our plan was to subdivide it, knock it down, and build two houses. We couldn't even rehab a house and we were going to build two luxury houses. That's me trying to prove myself.

We lost $934,000 on that house. Oh, wow. We bought a row house in DC. We're like, oh, we'll just put a third level on it, but we didn't check zoning. Mhmm.

No. No. No. No. No.

You can't do that. Another half 1,000,000. Then we bought a six unit at Adams Morgan, a real prestigious neighborhood in in Northwest DC, and we converted to condos. We it was so bad. We picked this architect and builder that was so freaking bad.

It took us ten years to extricate ourselves. We had to buy back the units at one point. So those three deals were there were three of the $9,000,000. The We Buy Houses lawsuit Mhmm. That that I got We Buy Houses Yeah.

Trademark campaign.

Steve: So for everyone that's not up to speed, so we buy houses was a trademarked term. Right? Which is, you know, we buy houses seems like a fairly simple phrase. I think we all have it. We buy houses cash.

We buy houses fast. It's a lot of our marketing language. But there's a period of time where someone had it trademarked, and you took charge in leading that fight.

Brad: Smart Brad took charge again. Yeah.

Steve: So talk to me. What was what what what led up to that fight?

Brad: So he took a bunch of, Jeremy Brandt, the owner, took a bunch of our YouTube videos down because they had We Buy Houses on them. And

Steve: So you were doing YouTube videos?

Brad: I was doing YouTube videos that had they were highly ranked. I I would do, like, a bunch of like, we I would just copy the same video over and over again. We buy houses Alexandria. We buy houses DC. And they were, like, on the top three, four spots.

Steve: So they're great lead gen. They were. Yeah.

Brad: And they just poof, went away.

Steve: Alright. So they filed a complaint with Google or YouTube.

Brad: They just took them straight down. Yeah. Yeah. I he reached out to me, but I may have missed the email or something. I don't know.

Steve: Yeah. So you get your videos taken down. You're having a moment of, like, what the hell is going on?

Brad: Yeah.

Steve: And then you went straight to fight or flight?

Brad: So I called him thinking I had a relationship with the guy, and he'd be like, no. It's fine. He was like, no. It's not fine. You can't use the word.

Mhmm. And I'm like, come on, man. This is gonna be expensive. Like, you gotta put it back up and, you know, I should've just left it at that, but I didn't.

Steve: We didn't, and I'm thankful that you didn't. Right? So how long was

Brad: that fight? Two years. Two years. Brutal.

Steve: Yeah. And you put up 1,900,000.0 of that legal fight?

Brad: Yeah. Well, my partner and I.

Steve: Yeah. Yeah. You had a little bit of funding.

Brad: Yeah. A $100,000. I thought all investors would, like, come to our rescue and be, like, get behind me and the Calvert would be charging ahead. Yeah.

Steve: When was this exactly?

Brad: I think it ended in, like, 2017, '20 yeah. 2018.

Steve: Yeah. I think I might have thrown, like, a thousand dollars into it. Thank you. Right? So it was long drawn out about us.

Like, was it, like, local, regional? Like, did it go how far did it go? Because $1.99 is a lot of money.

Brad: We were in, like, I don't even remember, man. We were we were in a higher level court. I don't remember, though, what it what it was, honestly.

Steve: But at this point, were you in Collective Genius?

Brad: Oh, yeah. Collective Genius raised, like, 98% of the $110,000 I think we raised.

Steve: Yeah. So okay. So CEG threw their weight behind it. You had a 100 to support you. So a 100 out of the 2,000,000.

Brad: Yeah.

Steve: Right. So, you said two years. What was the outcome? Obviously, you got it removed, but, like, what happened after that?

Brad: Nothing other than the the trademark was canceled.

Steve: Yeah. Did your YouTube videos come back? No. So you fought this battle. Did you get anything out of it?

Brad: No. I got nothing out of it. Just a lot bunch of wasted time and money.

Steve: But you got a story. You got a story. Yeah. So, we're talking about doing, you know, 250 houses, last year working an hour a week. Most people would be happy with either 250 houses in a year or having a business that requires one hour a week.

So you're able to do both. How were you able to do both?

Brad: So let me because I I hate when we start stories and don't finish them when I'm a listener on the podcast. Yeah. So I just wanna tell you the other mistakes. Yeah. So, 3,000,000 in in, in those three development deals.

2,000,000 in the lawsuit, that's 5. I think we figured up that at any given for for a three year period or five year period, we're doing, like, 85 rehabs spread out, like, four hour driving time. We probably lost another $3,000,000 there. And then in '28 excuse me. What year was it?

In 2010, we started 2008, we started Keller Williams team. When? 2008.

Steve: Okay.

Brad: And by 2010, we're the number one Keller Williams team in North America. Do you know why we started that team? Because I wanted to be the first agent team to ever sell $1,000,000,000 in one year. So all I was focused on was top line revenue.

Steve: Mhmm.

Brad: We wake up in in 2005. I don't know if you remember this. The tax credit went away. Mhmm. Real estate prices, is my partner was, like, called me one morning.

He goes, Brad, I think our real estate just dropped from 24,000,000, meaning the total value, we had a bunch of debt on it, of course, to 21,500,000.0. He's like, we gotta make some changes. He's like, I think if we hadn't started that realty company, we would have another million dollars in the bank. So I got my I we became the number one Keller Williams team, and I got my picture with Gary Keller, and it cost me a million dollars. So those were those were the the mistakes.

Gotcha. So how did I work how did I do, express home buyers did 253 deals last year at

Steve: work? Before we get there, we missed a step here. So you started in o two. There was this thing that happened between o seven and eleven. How did you make it through that?

Brad: So we were doing 100% rehab houses. So you can imagine we got stuck with a bunch.

Steve: So you got you held on to a lot of houses when the when the

Brad: I mean, we were just in the process. We had a bunch of rehab projects going on. It was we saw it in August 2007. The real market crash didn't happen for a couple months after that, I think, but we started seeing it. When when a when a 32 year old came into my office and she owns $7,750,000, two homes, and I go, what do you do?

She said, either I'm a hairdresser or I'm an administrative assistant. The part I remember, I go, how much money do you make a year? And she goes, $32,000. I go, why'd you buy these houses? She goes, oh, my sister's a realtor.

She was like, I can't lose. It's a great investment. So I knew things were, going bad there. So what did we do? We buckled down and we did really nice rehabs and we priced the house below, and then we did this huge broker outreach where we spent a lot of time incentivizing brokers to sell our house because we didn't have to go sell 50 houses.

We just had to sell one house in one neighborhood, and we tried to make it look like the best house. So we did pretty well. And then in 2010, we started buying a bunch of rentals Mhmm. And then the prices took off. So we rode those up, and because of the mistakes I made, we had to sell those.

But we we, you know, we probably made $3,000,000 in actual equity from just riding it up.

Steve: So you're able to get by by just being really intentional on the product that you have. Yeah. And we would underwrite, Steve.

Brad: We would instead of looking at sole comps, we're looking at actives, and we would literally I can remember underwriting deals to drop by five to 10% while we held on to them because

Steve: that's what was happening. Yeah. And that's probably super valuable today.

Brad: Yes. Follow look at actives. Don't worry about solds so much. Look at actives because I just heard a good friend of mine say things are starting to slow in Portland. Right?

Steve: Mhmm.

Brad: They're starting to slow in a lot of areas. It's like, I got this house, I put it on the market, and then two actives come up. And so I priced them below the actives, and none of it's been on the market for eight days, and we've got nothing, which is normal. But for what we've gone through the last twelve years, it's very abnormal to not get when you're price price priced lower than the competition, not to get a single, you know, offer.

Steve: Yeah. So and I asked this question because, you know, we all have a little bit variation of our PTSD from that period of time in our careers. Okay. So going back. So scaling your business, growing your business.

Right? How did you get from where you were to now, you know, doing 250 houses a year not working so much inside your business? So it started from day one, really. I read a book on,

Brad: The E Myth by Michael Gerber, and I was big on systems systems and people. I'm terrible at creating the systems, but I knew how important it was. Yeah. So over the years, we've just built systems and, you know, we've we've got some people that work with us for years. And so now it's just a matter of having good systems and people.

My partner, Judd, is heavily involved in the business, and we've got a good c CFO that kinda runs it without me.

Steve: Yeah. So when did your when did you go from flipping to wholesaling?

Brad: So we in two twenty seventeen, we we, we hit the brakes. Actually, that's when Robert came in, and, he's like, guys, you guys are making a lot more money on the wholesales. So So in 2017, we went all wholesale. I think we bought one or or zero houses. And then 2018, 2019 came around and we started looking at we've got this massive overhead to feed and we're wholesaling these properties and we're looking at what the investor was doing And they were turning around and selling them for, like, $80,000 more after they put the rehab in.

And we just guessed on the rehab number. But so we're like, we can't leave all this money on the table. So we slowly started to rehab, and now it's like a mix of, you know, probably 70% wholesale and thirty, forty percent rehab.

Steve: So you're talking about Robert. So that's Robert Wensley, right, the founder of InvestorLift. Yeah. So you got this kid, super sharp, working in your organization. I mean, hopefully, his he he doesn't get his feelings hurt.

What was it like working with a kid like Robert, like, right out of college?

Brad: So he cold called me through LinkedIn. Earlier, cold reached out to me, and I, I I had a conversation with him. And immediately, I was like, we gotta hire this guy. Yeah. You know, I've said it too many times in my life.

If I could bet on somebody, like, hey. Take a per portion of their equity, their their their mind Yeah. I would have done it with Robert for sure.

Steve: It was it was great working

Brad: with him. Just like any entrepreneur, he's he's a true entrepreneur. He was all over the place a lot, but he's got a brilliant mind, obviously. And, yeah, he's a he's a really sharp guy.

Steve: What was it that you said that he he was the one that's like, hey, guys. Like, we make just as much, if not more, in wholesaling than flipping. Like, what was what was his responsibility?

Brad: So, you know, I think he pointed that out, but but at the kind of at the same time, I was like, I just started Brad Chandler coaching coaching you to freedom because I thought back then you got freedom from money. And I was literally teaching people at that time, stop rehabbing because it's the hardest part of the business. So it's almost like a confluence of events. I'm like, this rehabbing is really hard. And then he's like, well, guys, looking at the numbers, you're making more money.

So we're like, Let's just start wholesaling.

Steve: Yeah. So wasn't too much pushback. He was like, it was a simple how long did he did you guys work together?

Brad: I think, like, two years.

Steve: Two years? Yeah. What are some other things about him that, you know, we don't like, we get to see Robert Wednesdays today. Right? Or some other things that we that you got to see in in in this kid, right, before he became who he is today?

Brad: You know, just so driven.

Steve: And and and he's probably driven for the same reasons you I know he is because I know

Brad: I know his past. Right? He's he's driven to prove something.

Steve: Mhmm.

Brad: And it's, he's young, and it's working great for him now. Right.

Steve: Yeah. Right. Because, like, I mean, he has his video out right now. It's like he declined an offer for a $100,000,000 for his business last year. Right?

It was more than a 100,000,000. Like, we had private conversations about it. So alright. So you're talking about, like, you had these people that have been with you for a while. So seventeen ish, you started wholesaling.

Did you have an intention to have a large wholesaling organization back back then? Because you were you wanted to be the first billion dollar realtor company. Did you have large

Brad: Steve, I always had a large intention with everything. Like, I wanted to as soon as I started Express Home Buyers, I wanted to be a nationwide company. Yeah. I just didn't have the skill set to to make it a nationwide company.

Steve: Well, so I heard there was a point in time where you're coaching these guys all across the country so you can scale nationwide or something along those lines. Is that accurate?

Brad: So we had leads. We had a really strong SEO site for a while until some marketer run ran that to the ground. Yeah. Not quite, but, we don't get as many as we used to get. And so, no, we were we were selling we tried everything to monetize these leads.

And now knowing what we know, we could have closed these virtually. Now. And and literally, we we left millions and millions of dollars on the table.

Steve: So you're trying to have JV partners nationwide?

Brad: Yeah. Kind of. Now that you say

Steve: that, I kinda even forgot about that.

Brad: We we were we were trying to, and then we the plan was maybe to drive leads, and we would be the lead machine, then we would partner with them.

Steve: Mhmm. How'd that go?

Brad: It didn't go well. It didn't go well.

Steve: We we arch we

Brad: didn't have the right technology. We didn't we couldn't track them. Mhmm. I'm sure people did deals, and we never got paid back.

Steve: Alright.

Brad: Look. I'm all over the place. Right? This this is old Brad, and we'll talk more about what that means. But Yeah.

Anything to do to make more money, I was trying to do it. Right. I created so much chaos in that business. Oh my gosh. And now it's just completely different.

Steve: Yeah. And, you know, it's funny because you're having this conversation. Right? Because I've had I have an accountability partner. So it's my best friend.

We've been best friends since, like, seventh grade. And ever since we both went on our entrepreneurial jersey journeys, we still have accountability conversations every single month. Right? And there was one point in time, he was like, Steve, there's something wrong with you. Like, you gotta figure this out.

Because, like, every decision you make is about how to make more money. Like, there's no other consideration. It's just how to make more money. Right? And when you and I are gonna dive deeper into this, I was like, damn.

Like, you don't have to put it that way. Right? So everything is is is go big. So you had when you decided to go from a flipping company to a wholesaling company, you did wanna grow big. Do you have at that time because we've seen in the last twenty four months this change in language from I wanna scale a big company to I don't wanna scale a big company.

So did you have intentions of scaling big then, and do you still have a big organization?

Brad: I had yes. I always had aspirations to scale big. Now my focus is impact. Mhmm. So in the last two and a half years since I've gone through this work and figured out my worth, I don't have to prove anything to anyone.

So all I wanna do is make an impact on this world. And so things have shifted in Express Homebuyers. We are methodically going to to grow, because I don't need to go open 25 markets to make myself feel better. You don't need to

Steve: go 100 miles an hour?

Brad: No. So so we're just we're and we're doing great. And we're doing great. And, you know, my net worth has climbed more in the last two and a half years since I stopped focusing on making money for the sake of making myself happy. Here's the thing, Steve.

Most pea a lot of people get into business because and a lot of real estate investors because they wanna get to this place where money they make $7,000,000. They're gonna find happiness or they're gonna find worthiness. Mhmm. What I now do though is I help people realize they can find that state today because there's nothing outside of yourself that's ever gonna make you happy, believe it or not. Then when you're in the state, the chances of you making that money in the future is exponentially higher.

There's studies. They they look at college graduates who are happy or not happy, and then they track their income over time. Happiness brings money. People think money brings happiness. It's just the opposite.

Steve: Yeah. So you've talked about, like, this work you had to do. So what led you to this realization that you needed work?

Brad: Yeah. If you ask me, there's nothing wrong with me. Like, I I thought I had a great life. Couple marriages that didn't work out, I smoked weed every night for years at a time. I was like, it helps me sleep.

I drank. I mean, you probably saw me sometimes. I used to throw them back at at at CG and, golf tournaments. I'd get nervous at golf tournaments because I was afraid of people judging me, and I would I'd be drunk by, like, 08:30 when the when the tournament started. Literally, I couldn't probably get in the I could drive a car, but I would've gotten in trouble if I got pulled over.

Steve: Yeah.

Brad: So I wasn't looking for help, man. I had everything going well. I was making decent money.

Steve: So in your mind

Brad: Couple divorces, but

Steve: since you're mine, everything's fine. Everything's I'm good.

Brad: I'm I'm not yeah. I'm good. I have a high self esteem. I don't care what others think, and I have self love. And they were all just lies I was living.

Steve: Yeah. So that's it's powerful though because for someone that's listening, right, they might think this doesn't apply to me. I'm good. I don't need this. But that's what you were telling yourself as well.

Yeah. So then what happened to get you to realize you were lying to yourself?

Brad: Well, I tried to get my son help for I was trying desperately to get my son help for anxiety. Mhmm. And I talked to a friend and he's like, how's life? I was like, amazing, except my son. He's like, you gotta talk to this person.

So I talked to her and she's like, you have a tic. You blink profusely when you talk about your childhood. You may have some unresolved childhood trauma. I I don't even like using the word trauma anymore because people tend to check out because they're they think when they hear trauma, they think, like, locked in a cage or sexually molested. Mhmm.

That's not what that is trauma. But trauma is also your little sister coming in from the hospital, and you think your mom and dad love her more than you. That's trauma. Telling you that when you cry to go to your room and shut up, that's trauma. Right.

So I was like, okay. She's like, this may be affecting your son. Do you wanna come out work with my with my husband and I? And I did. And in in a weekend

Steve: want Annie here. Yeah.

Brad: And in a weekend, in literally a three hour session with her husband, Larry, my life forever changed. Yeah. Forever changed. And I came back and I'm like, oh my gosh. I think I just figured out the secret to happiness in life.

And I started talking to other people and they're like, wow. You're really good at this. I go to therapy and you're like as good as a therapist. Like and so I just was like, I gotta do this. This is why God put me here.

Steve: Yeah. So you're talking about Annie Yatch and Larry Yatch

Brad: Yep.

Steve: Who I've had a chance working with them as SEAL team leaders. Right? And actually had the same, conversation with her. Right? Is I heard your success.

I heard Jason Medley's success and couple other people said, man, like, having a conversation with Annie was really powerful. So I was like, alright. I'll have a conversation with her. Right? So I sat down with her over the course.

I wanna say, like, maybe an hour and a half. And it didn't take very long. Right? She was like, you know, tell me about a time where you were really happy. Right?

Tell me about a time where you were really sad. Right? And I kinda just, like, share these stories. And then we just figure it out. Right?

And maybe this is true for a lot of people, but it was a revelation for me was that and by the way, like, I wouldn't trade my life for anything. Right? Like, I had loving parents who love each other, who raised six boys. Right? Put us all through college and engineering.

Like, they did everything they could do. Their consequence of of their of their hardworking ethic, right, both working sixty, eighty hours a week, was that they were never around. And them being never around and, you know, the whole Asian culture, like, it's not like, oh, you got 99. It's like, why didn't you get a 100? Right?

So this it just led to this achievement addiction. And so, I had that same thing with her. I was like, crap. And this shows up in other places. And she showed she shared with me, like, here's where it's gonna show up.

It doesn't show up at work where people feel like you're always chasing more and that they can't keep up with you. Damn. Right? Like, they're gonna say they they feel like they're on an island. It's like,

Brad: yeah.

Steve: Because they say they're on an island. And, like, you're probably having a conversation with your spouse where she feels like you don't share your love with her. I was like, damn. That's true too. So you went and had this experience.

I only had ninety minutes. Right? So you had a whole you said how long?

Brad: Three it's it's a weekend, but the the real magic happened in three hours.

Steve: In three hours. Uh-huh. So what were what what was your epiphany in those three hours?

Brad: The epiphany is that that every single problem in your life is a thinking problem. Mhmm. And it's not your fault. No matter what you're struggling with, addiction, depression, anxiety, working too much, bad relationships, overeating, obesity, it's not your fault. That thinking problem was created in childhood when you had unmet needs or you felt stress.

You came up with a story around that. I'm six years old. My dad's always gone. My mom's always gone. Why are they gone?

Why is this bad thing happening to me? I must be bad. It's our brain giving us hope for a better tomorrow because if I can only be good, then my parents will start loving me the way that I want. Mhmm.

Steve: So that was

Brad: the epiphany is that we come up with these these stories and their our brain is just perfect. It's incredible. It helps us get through those. So as a six year old, it's perfect. As a 47 year old who's buying a 42 foot boat to try to take it to The Bahamas and he doesn't even know how to read a chart, that's this guy, it doesn't serve you too well.

When you have two marriages, it doesn't don't serve you well or don't work out. When you have two kids with anxiety, when you make $9,000,000 worth of business mistakes, it doesn't serve you. So that's what I that's what I figured out. And and now the last two and a half years have, by and far away, been the best years of my life, and they just honestly keep getting better.

Steve: Did Did you figure out what happened when you were six that that that led to this?

Brad: Yeah. It was a I mean, it was a it was a confluence of events. When we go when I work with clients now, they usually see a big breakthrough between three and five hours of working with me, And I use hypnosis, which is just a way to access the subconscious mind. It's just a deep state of relaxation. It's not what people think, like you're, you know, on stage hypnits.

Nothing like that. So usually, we'll come up with three or four scenes, and those three or four scenes drive it. But it's usually never, if it's one scene, there's a 100 scenes. In my case, my father didn't feel enough. Mhmm.

He would hit me, with a belt. He would make fun of me. I I was I had a big head as a kid, so people would call me pumpkin head and balloon, whatever it was. Really? And then I'd come home MBTs.

My mother and father fought all the time. It wasn't safe. Like, it was always, like, always when is he gonna lose his temper? When are they gonna fight next? And Mhmm.

There was a huge struggle of money. So I've had money issues my whole life. My dad showed his love through money, and my mom was like, we're gonna run out of money. Mhmm.

Steve: Yeah. Well, so you bring that up. Right? So, like, I can say for sure, there weren't a ton of fights about money, but there were fights about money. And I'm wondering how much, like, the childhood trauma and the fights about money lead us to entrepreneurship.

Right? So Well, in

Brad: my case, Steve, at 10 years old, when my parents got divorced, my mom said we may lose the house because my father stopped helping us out financially. And she said, we may lose the house and move into public housing. Well, as a nurse, I she visited the public housing, and I would come with her because she didn't have the money for a babysitter. She didn't wanna put me at the babysitter, and I knew there were killings there. So what do you think my 10 year old mind said?

If you run out of money, you may die. Mhmm. So I struggle with money to this day. Over my work, it's gotten exponentially better, but I still have trouble spending money because I think my reptilian brain, my survival brain is saying, if you spend money and you lose money, you may die.

Steve: Yeah. Well, that's the brain is a powerful tool, a powerful object. It's not perfect, but it's powerful. And so we have this imprint in us in the first zero to seven like, first seven years, six years of our lives is there's some really powerful imprints. And then from seven to 13, there's some additional imprints.

And then by 13, I think, like, the cake is baked. Right? Like, there's you still change and evolve in this and that, but a lot of the baking has been done.

Brad: Do you know do you know that that when when you're in hypnosis, you're in an alpha wave. You're between alpha alpha and, I think, theta of brainwave states, and that's when at nighttime, when I make a recording for my clients to listen to to reprogram their mind through neuroplasticity, that's the state. When you are zero to seven years old, you're pretty much constantly in a theta state, which means you are just being hypnotized by your environment for seven years.

Steve: Yeah. Yeah. I didn't know about that part. But, yeah, I mean, the the programming is pretty like, they Santa's real. Right?

Get the Easter bunny. Like, everything is just like, yeah. That makes sense to me. Like, hey. Here's that way it is.

Yeah. That makes sense to me. Yeah. Yeah. So, which is scary, right, with, like, everything that happens in public education today.

Yeah. So that's a whole different story. So you realize two and a half years ago, you need some work done. Realizing it is not enough. Correct?

Brad: Yeah. You gotta act on it.

Steve: So you gotta act on it. So what did you do to work on it?

Brad: So I literally came home, and I had a recording that I created at the event, and I constantly listened to that recording. And then it just fascinated me so much with how profoundly my life changed on in every area Mhmm. That I was like, I gotta learn more about this. So I started reading book after book after book. I've probably read 55 books since that two and a half year time period started.

I started helping people. I started studying. I went back out and watched Larry take four or eight more people through the process. I then, studied under Gabor Mate, one of like, a world renowned physician who specialized in trauma addiction. Then I found this lady, Marissa Peer, who who has this program called RTT, rapid transformational therapy.

It's a combination of NLP, neurolinguistic programming, CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy, which is pretty much traditional therapy, and hypnosis. And I studied five hundred hours online with her, and then I went out and spent a week with her in LA. Yeah. So I I've done a lot. And then and then I learned so much from the clients that I work with.

It's incredible. Every time I take a new client, I learn something. Yeah. So

Steve: you show up differently now as a result?

Brad: Completely.

Steve: How have you shown up differently?

Brad: Oh my gosh. What has changed in my what hasn't changed in my life? I'm in the best shape of my life. I work out six days a week now. I don't drink anymore, so there's no days that I I skip the gym because I'm hungover.

Mhmm. I stopped smoking weed, so there's no, like, two pints of Ben and Jerry's, you know, stuff in my face at night or a bunch of Reese's. I'm in a relationship of thirteen months now that's completely different. So if you have marital problems or if you have intimacy problems, the the the relationship is never about the actual the relationship problem is never about the actual relationship. It's the relationship each of you have with your individual selves that's the problem.

Mhmm. So, man, why did I have two failed marriages? Because when you lack self worth, you always go out and find people who lack self worth. And now you got two people who lack self worth, so it's a constant battle. It's either a constant battle or it's a codependent relationship where the other person's like, I can't be with this per without this person because they show me love and they validate me, so I'm just gonna suck it up.

Mhmm. So my relationship is amazing. My health is amazing. My relationship with my kids has transformed. They both neither of them have anxiety anymore.

And my business, I've completely changed my business, and the culture has changed. I we've never been in such a good place ever in twenty years in my business, so everything has changed. So now you're enough. Now I'm enough.

Steve: So there's, like, parodies, right, of this kind of stuff. Like, we I was talking to someone about, Stuart Smalley. You ever watched that on SNL?

Brad: Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm I'm good enough. Smart enough. Yeah.

Steve: And doggone it, people like me. Yeah. Right? So what is the difference between what you've done and, like, you know, going to a therapist to complain about or not complain, but to, like, vent and share about your childhood? Like, what what what is the difference?

Brad: Yeah. So first of all, I'm not a therapist. I'm a happiness coach, and I'm gonna give you all the tools that you ever need to to process any negative emotion going forward in your life. Therapists serve a purpose, but their effectiveness I went to therapy for three decades. I went to 50 different marriage counseling sessions.

They wanna focus on the symptoms in the conscious brain, but it's only responsible for 5% of your behavior. Mhmm. Do you know how many clients I've had that once we got hypnosis, they're like, I didn't even remember these things that were driving their behavior at 45 years old? A therapist, how would they ever get to that point? They they they can't.

They want them their business model is just come back every Tuesday, sit on my couch, and tell me about this shit over and over. I I was that guy for thirty years. What what what what do I do? I get to the subconscious brain that knows the source of every single problem you have, already knows it, and we just talk to the subconscious brain and figure out what it is. And then we and then we recode it by telling by listening to this recording at night when you're in an alpha wave brain state.

Steve: Do this in person, over the phone?

Brad: Over Zoom.

Steve: Over Zoom? Over Zoom. Alright. Yep. Excuse me.

So you have a, self love quiz. What is that?

Brad: So you were say you were talking about earlier, like, did I have an awareness? And it's and I told you no. I had no idea. I thought I was I had a lot of self love. I literally created this quiz for the old Brad because if you and I if I would have been the real estate investor hearing this and I heard self love and this was about self love, I would have tuned out.

Steve: Right.

Brad: I can tell you, Steve, that 99 of every world problem, including the wars that are going on, the childhood cell sex trafficking, our prisons being full, the obesity rate, the divorce rate, the addiction rate. Thirty three percent of Americans are on an antidepressant or antianxiety. Thirty three percent. Thirty three percent. Every single one of those problems comes down to an individual's lack of self love.

So I created this quiz. It's a 12 question quiz. Mhmm. It takes three minutes, and it literally will tell you if you have extreme self love, lack of self love, or mild self love.

Steve: Mhmm.

Brad: If you have one of the two bottom categories, I can promise you every area of your life to some degree is negatively affected. It's just it's just gonna be that way.

Steve: So but so if you take

Brad: it, don't think, oh, woe is me. Think, oh, just the opposite. Just like Brad, my life and my relationships and my net worth can change Mhmm. Profoundly.

Steve: Yep. So I took it. So you were speaking at Jamil's event over the weekend. And then so, you talked about it. I took it, and mine said extreme self love.

Right? Which I don't know. Depending that might sound out of context or some might sound weird out of context. Right? But what does that mean?

Right? Let's start let's start with the the the lowest. You said lack of self love?

Brad: Or Yep. Lack of self love and mild self love. Yep.

Steve: So what is lack of self love? What does that mean? How does it show up?

Brad: Lack of self love. Tons of negative talk. Relationships. You've probably had rocky relationships your whole life. Or you're not even in a relationship because you're just like, I don't even deserve a relationship.

You go from one bad relationship to the next. You're in a shitty relationship. You take things personally. You have a lot of negative self talk. You have self destructive behavior.

You you have to use materials or substances to cope with your depression or or just anything that happens in your life, you gotta turn to a drink. You've you've always gotta be right. Anything around, like, self destructive, just just in a triggered state, that is an indication that you lack self love.

Steve: Is it fair to describe you know, we talk about personality profiles. High d's. Right? High d's are like anything could trigger them. We look at, you know, our previous president Donald Trump.

When I do my trainings, I always say he's a prototypical high d. When you see someone that behaves that way has low self love?

Brad: I don't think so. No.

Steve: Okay. No.

Brad: I don't think you can correlate, a personality with with a with I think because there what is it? 25%? Is it each each of the 4% types?

Steve: A true d is, like, less than five percent of the population.

Brad: Okay. But the

Steve: way we describe them in the past is their quick to anger. So

Brad: Well, I mean, yeah. You know, now I'm saying that I

Steve: was a high d. Well, I was a

Brad: high d because I was driving, so I've never thought about it. But maybe you're right. Maybe a high d does lack self love.

Steve: Yeah. Right. Because it it kinda goes back to we're talking offline. You know, I watched this, podcast with Tom Bilyeu and this guy that was a former CIA agent right now. I love the the the interview, and I was looking forward to it because it kept popping up in my in my TikTok feed.

Right? It's like, everything he's saying has to do with psychology, and I, like, I I really appreciate all of it. And one of the things he talks about is, like, CIA actively looks for people that experienced some variation of childhood trauma. Right? Because if you experience childhood trauma and you've dealt with it, then you're a person that can work for the CIA.

The other thing that we're looking for is flexible ethics. We won't talk about that. Right? But, you you've got childhood trauma. You're you're you've you've managed it, but you're not coping externally.

Because if you're coping externally, then you're not necessarily functional. Right? You could have self destructive behaviors. Right? So they're looking for people with childhood trauma and have managed it.

And I look at that, and I think probably so many entrepreneurs and salespeople have that as well. Because why else would we go to work every day knowing that we adversity and failure is real? Why would you continuing for eight months to find a house if

Brad: Yeah.

Steve: After eight months, you've had no positive results. Right? Like, there has to be an element of of willingness to persevere through adversity, having this self belief that I'm good enough, but also the belief that I'm not worthy yet? Like, how does that all play together? Look.

Brad: First of all, it's complicated. Right? Because I lacked self worth, but I also had a growth mindset. Because because I did show up to these these things, and I said, hey. I can do it.

Mhmm. So while my childhood wasn't perfect, my mom did give me a lot of love and attention. She didn't do all the things she she she did everything she could have. Like, I I have no like, she she she did an amazing job. She sacrificed so much, but she wasn't able to give me certain things or protect me from my father based on her childhood.

So it's a it's a weird dichotomy. It is. Inside, I was saying I wasn't enough, but there was a part of me saying, you can do this. You can do this. You can do this.

My conscious brain was saying, you can do this, I think, because I heard that. My subconscious brain, through the pain that I lived through, was like, no. You're no good. And I think that's literally why part of why I made this $9,000,000 $9,000,000 worth of mistakes. It was like, you don't deserve that.

You're gonna you're gonna sabotage it. And I see that a lot among my clients. A lot of entrepreneurs. Self sabotage. Yeah.

Yeah. Because they get to a point and they're like, no. No. No. We shouldn't be here.

You don't deserve this. Boom. We're we're bringing you back down.

Steve: Here, bring down your your financial thermostat. Mhmm. So yeah. Because there's that dichotomy of a strong ego. Right?

I'm good enough, but still, I got a chip on my shoulder. I gotta prove this to somebody. Yeah. Right? And I kinda when we're I was talking about antibiotics, like, yeah.

I think there's this element, like, so how do we get praise, right, as a kid? Because mom and dad are super busy, and he got six kids. How do you get praise?

Brad: Achievement.

Steve: Achievement. Right? And you you if you were not achieving, right, you didn't get any attention unless you're misbehaving. That's not the attention we yearn for. So the only way to get attention was to achieve.

Brad: Well, there's a couple more. Go ahead. So so so kids that aren't, don't aren't seen, heard, and understand take on one of four roles.

Steve: Mhmm.

Brad: One is the high achiever, the perfect perfect kid, straight a's, the star athlete. One is the rebellion, which you just mentioned. The third is the carer, so they're taken care of. I can't tell you how many people come to me because they were like the parent to their child, but they were the parent to their to their parent. They were the parent to their parent.

Excuse me.

Steve: And they had to take care

Brad: of the other child. Yeah. When you're given the role or they were given the role of taking care of their siblings. Mhmm. When you're given the role of a parent as a child, you can't succeed.

So if you can't succeed, what do you think you're telling yourself?

Steve: I'm not good enough.

Brad: I'm not good enough. Yeah. The fourth is the sick one. So literally, your body can create any freaking thing on the any illness on the planet. Point they've done studies in Japan where they they rub something on the the participant's arms.

They got poison ivy. It wasn't poison ivy. They then told the they they split them, of course, and then they said this is a cream that's gonna fix it. It was nothing. They went away.

Mhmm. So your body, asthma, food allergies, headaches, it's getting the attention from the parents. So those are the four roles that that you can play as a child to get what you're you don't get.

Steve: That's interesting. I haven't I haven't heard that one. But

Brad: And and and if you have four siblings, they'll each take a different role typically.

Steve: Yeah. When I had that, I was the one that had to achieve but also take care of my siblings. Right? Like, you, Steve, have to take care of your younger brothers. If anything happens to us, we're expecting you to make sure they all graduate and get good jobs.

Brad: So we I I have to say, like, it is, first of all, probably only about five percent of people score extreme self love. With what you've told me over the last twenty four hours of your childhood Yeah. It is absolutely remarkable that you score extreme self love. There there must be areas of your life that it that it affects you.

Steve: Oh, there is. There's absolutely areas where it affects me. And, again, it goes back to, in within the organization, right, because I'm always chasing more always chasing more. And so, I've had so many people within my organization. It's like, I feel abandoned.

Right? Like, you're so focused on the next initiative, on the next project that, like, we're like we feel like we're, we don't get the attention, which I've always struggled with. Right? Because it's like, what the hell are you talking about? You know exactly where I am.

Like, I have this office for all of us here, and I've always responded. Right? Anytime anyone need help does the care. Anytime anyone in my organization needs help, I will take the time to help them. So I never understood where this is coming from because I was always supportive.

But I also know that even when I say, like, I'm always here to help you guys, people still feel intimidated to ask me for my help. I don't understand it. I just I just accept it. Right? So I think that was the first thing.

Right? That's what Annie said. This is where it shows up. Other places it shows up again, the the number one challenge in my marriage is because I'm incapable of feeling processing emotions. Right?

My wife is, at times, unsure in my resiliency. I'm extremely resilient. Right? Like, there's nothing you can do to me that's gonna get me down. Right?

I took a test with Phil Green, like, on their perception predict perception prediction, whatever. Like, I'm a 99% grit. Like, there's nothing you can do to knock me down. Right? No matter what happens, the world will be falling apart.

I'll be fine. I'll figure this out. And so this I'll be fine. I'll figure it out. It's scary to a woman that wants to be loved.

Right?

Brad: Yeah.

Steve: And then same thing with my kids. So that I have this I brought this prop out here. Right? This is it says anger here. This is a crayon my team made for me.

Right? Because when we're going through this whole exercise with Larry Yatch, it was, you know, he has a very few emotions, right, because of his time in the as a Navy Seal. I was like, oh, I kinda have similar things as well. And so my daughter, my oldest, says, Stevie dad, you have two feelings, anger angry and happy. And Vivian, my second kid, is like, no.

Dad has two feelings. It's angry and and disappointed. I was

Brad: like, damn. Yikes.

Steve: Right? So even though they're being funny, there's also some truth in there. Right? And so, like, how am I showing up for my kids? And so I have to be intentional in making sure that they can sit in their feelings.

Right? So, like, things we talk about, I don't ask them why are you crying. I'll ask them how come you're crying. Hey. What's going on?

You know? Like, if there's anything you need to talk through, like, dad will be here for you. And because I've studied NLP, I can work through and let you speak freely on your emotions and extract more so you can sit in your emotions. But, also, we don't stay in the emotions. Right?

Like, we process emotions. What what are we feeling? Why are we feeling that way? Once you understand why we're feeling that way, we can move on. But I don't shut down the emotions like I got being the oldest son of six immigrants or six boys of six oldest of six sons in immigrant family.

Brad: Wow. So can we talk a little about your wife, your

Steve: comfort going there?

Brad: Yeah. So you said at Jamille's event that when you were crying or had some type of emotion, you were told stop. Right?

Steve: Why are you crying? Stop crying. And jokingly, I'll give you something to cry about.

Brad: Okay. Okay. So as children, we have two primary needs. This is from one of my mentors, Gabor Mate. Mhmm.

Attachment, which is we are the only specie or the the the main specie that needs more care than anyone. Right? Babies can be born in other cats or birds and they can reptiles, they can take care of themselves. Adults, humans can't. So we need this this attachment.

If we're not attached to an to an adult, we're gonna die. Right? Mhmm. Then you have this need for authenticity. Authenticity means the ability to feel your feelings, to be your true self self, to speak your mind.

Because if you look at the if if we were on this planet for which we have been hundreds of thousands of years, we've only not been, chased by the lion for, like, a fraction. Right?

Steve: Yeah.

Brad: So what would happen if you didn't have authenticity in the wild? How long would you survive? If you saw a lion and you didn't follow your gut, how long would you survive? Not very long. Not very long.

So now you're as a child. Your parents can't take your emotions because they couldn't handle them.

Steve: Right.

Brad: So so when you admit emotions, they're like, you cannot do that. It is bad. So you interpret that that if if I show my emotions, I'm not gonna get love. Yeah. So what do you do?

Suppress it. You suppress it, but you change who you are. Right. So you lose your authenticity. You have you know, what happens when you stuff down something?

Depress. Right? Mhmm. What does depression Depression is just stuffing down emotions. Mhmm.

So I thought about you these last twenty four hours when you made that statement. You have a hard time talking about your emotions. Your survival brain is saying, if I be my true self and talk about my emotions, what's gonna happen? My attachment is going to go, and that attachment in your survival brain is saying, I'm gonna die. Right.

So you literally are are your brain is like when when I bet you you can't stand when emotions come up. You probably get, like, fright. Right? You're like, I don't wanna go there.

Steve: There's hesitation for sure.

Brad: Yeah. That's your brain saying, there's danger, danger, danger, danger. So now that you know that, I've created this thing called the joy regenerator that your listeners can go to bradchino.com/joy, and it teaches you how to process your emotions. When you feel a negative emotion, Steve, you're in fight or flight, 100% of the time. You're out there looking for the line.

Right? Mhmm. So you're not in the in the current and you're not in the present moment. You're in the past. So take a couple deep breaths and get into the present.

Then identify the emotion. I'm feeling sad. I'm feeling scared. As soon as you use your thinking brain to to to say, I'm thinking, you're kicking out of the fight or flight into your prefrontal prefrontal cortex, the thinking brain. You then give yourself compassion because you didn't get compassion as a child.

So it's okay, Steve, because it's a little six year old boy inside of you. And then you're gonna say, where'd it come from? Well, now we know where it came from. Mhmm. It came from when my parents shut me down.

So you can say, what are three grateful things about my wife? I love her. She's a great mother. She's she's whatever whatever the three grateful things are. Knowing that you're not that little six year old boy, you can snap back into joy or you can open up, and you can say to your wife, this is what I'm feeling.

Mhmm. This tool is magical. Take it one step further. When your wife does something that makes you feel this emotion, you can say, what's your wife's name? Chao.

Chao. Hey. What you just did made me feel sad. It's not your fault. But can we discuss it so that I can heal and we can become closer as a couple?

She's gonna be like, who is this guy? Like, use it tonight, tomorrow, whatever.

Steve: She's gonna be like, what happened to you?

Brad: Yeah. You

Steve: know, it's funny you talk about that because, the the the as a sales trainer, I I'm pretty proud of my ability to to teach communication and communicate. Right? But where it consistently fails is in the marriage because, we just went through I I just went through Men Are from Mars. Right? Women From Venus.

And the the I don't know, reptilian brain or whatever. But whenever she says I feel sad or angry, to me as a as a man, I get defensive. What did I do? What am I being blamed for that caused you to feel sad or angry? I have to remember to detach.

When she's saying she feels this way, she's not blaming me. She's sharing her emotion. But, man, it's really hard to detach those things.

Brad: And Steve, where are her emotions coming from? Her six year old self. Yeah. It has nothing to do with you. So when you're arguing with your wife, it has nothing to do with the actual argument or the situation.

It's you two going back to your past and bringing a meaning in to that because your brain's like danger. I've gotta go to the time where someone else made me feel this way. So now knowing that, you don't ever have to feel that way again. Or if you do, you know, my trigger used to my ex wife would come to me and she'd say, you just made me mad. I would turn it on her.

Fight. I'd fight. I'd had to fight. Yeah. And then I'd flight.

For three days, I would be completely distant. Now in my relationship Mhmm. With Yvonne, she'll come to me. And knowing that I don't have to prove anything and I'm worthy, I'll be like, okay. I'm sorry that I upset you.

Let's talk about this. Mhmm. I don't

Steve: have to fight anymore. I don't

Brad: have to flight. It's amazing. And now it our conflict actually brings us together. So if you don't have conflict in your job or your home or your intimate relationships, something's wrong. Like, conflict is a really, really good thing that can bring you closer together.

Intimate relationships are where unresolved childhood trauma will most rear their ugly heads, but it's the greatest place in the world to heal it if you have two people willing to work together.

Steve: Yeah. And that's a great point. Right? Because that that's you remind me of that valuable lesson that whenever you're having a fight, it's a six year old boy fighting with a six year old girl. It is not you and your wife.

It's your six year old version fighting with her six year old version. It's crazy to think about.

Brad: It is crazy to think about. Yeah. It's interesting. I I try I try to use the word crazy because it's judgment. Everything is interesting now.

Steve: Yeah. So we talked about low self love. What's what is middle was it medium?

Brad: Mild self love.

Steve: Mild self love.

Brad: So it's really I'm gonna go I think I'm gonna go to extreme self love because it's just a combination. It's just it's just like it's there's a lot of sometimes in there. Right? Got it. Extreme self love is not what a lot of people think, the narcissist that thinks they're better.

I have extreme self love. You you have extreme self love. I don't think I'm better than anyone, but on the flip side, I don't think I'm any worse. I think that I'm just as good and important as any other human being that's ever lived and walked on this planet. That's how I feel.

Right? Mhmm.

Steve: So

Brad: extreme self love is you have amazing relationships, deeply connected relationships. You don't take things personally. You don't have self destructive eating or drugs or sexual habits. You don't have any type of addiction. Mhmm.

You don't take things personally. You don't have to be right. You don't get offended by little things that other people wouldn't get offended about. That's extreme stuff. You treat your no negative self talk.

Mhmm. I have not said something negative myself in probably a year, and I I caught myself saying idiot. And I'm like, no. No. No.

I'm not an idiot. People constantly barrage themselves with negative self talk. It's and your mind will your body will give you exactly what your mind says it says it or pictures and and either words or pictures. You're gonna get that. I'm fat.

You're gonna be fat. Mhmm. I'm no good. You're gonna be no good. So you've got to treat yourself like a best friend.

If you wouldn't say it to your best friend, don't say it to yourself. Love yourself. When you're feeling that little negative if if you that analogy used is right. You're fight when you argue, you're fighting with the six year old your wife. Right?

So whenever you feel a negative emotion, Steve, it's the six year old little boy inside of you. If a little six year old boy walked up to you, this isn't good for you because you treat yourself what but but for the listeners listening to this, when you feel sad, it's your little six year old. If your little six year old self came up and pulled on your coat and said, I'm feeling really anxious and sad, would you say you're an idiot? Like, suck it up? No.

I hope you wouldn't. Yeah. You would pick him up and you would

Steve: say, I love you, little guy. I've got you. We're we're gonna make make make it through this together. That's how you

Brad: need to start treating yourself. And when you do, your whole life will change. Everything will become, like, magical.

Steve: Yeah. Oh, that's powerful. So listening to the podcast.

Brad: Take the take the quiz. That's the first time.

Steve: Oh, yeah. Everyone go to bradhandler.com/quiz. I took it. It's eye opening.

Brad: Yeah. Yeah. It's it's because all change has to begin with awareness. If you're listening and you're like, that's not me, okay. You might be right.

Maybe you're like Steve and I and maybe you have extreme self love. Maybe you're the 5% of people, but maybe you're not. And maybe that's why your business sucks. Maybe that's why you've been divorced three times and maybe that's why you drink so much. Listen.

None of this is your fault and it's not your parents' fault either.

Steve: Yeah. That's not what I do.

Brad: I don't try to cast blame on your parents. Just the opposite. I get you to a point where when you find self love, you actually become close to your parents because you realize they really did do the best they could do.

Steve: Yeah. Yeah. There's no blame on my end. Right? Like I said, I wouldn't trade places.

Like, they did everything they could. Yeah. And my life is pretty good. Yeah. Right?

So you listen to the podcast. You ever listened to Pardon the Disruption?

Brad: I haven't. No.

Steve: Okay. Were you a family member on stage?

Brad: So I got it one time.

Steve: Yeah. So you got to see that. Right? So I selected this panel very specifically. Right?

I reached out to Eric Brewer because I think he is the wittiest, sharpest guy on his feet. I love Eric. Right? I don't think there's anyone faster on their feet than Eric. Chris Jefferson and RJ Bates.

I picked Chris and RJ because when we were doing close Olympics back in 2020, they were we were encouraged to talk trash to each other, and RJ just delivers it ruthlessly, nonstop. Chris didn't deliver as much. Like, I I I I didn't deliver anymore. But what's really cool is there's nothing you could say to rattle the guy. Right?

Like, he just he

Brad: was Chris.

Steve: Chris Jefferson. He's calm. He's cool. Right? So this was the panel.

We picked this on purpose. And the reason why I picked them was because they're really good at talking trash, and you couldn't hurt their feelings. Right? And this is something like it's a pet peeve of mine because I love to trash talk. If someone dishes it and can't take it, I just really struggle having respect for the other person.

Right? And so these guys can dish it, and they can take it. So I'm curious. On that scale of self love, right, they can't be offended. They're they're unoffendable.

Like, how what what does what does that tell you?

Brad: Whoo. You mean, it's a tough question, dude.

Steve: Because I

Brad: I because because I know those people. Yeah. And so I have more insight than you might think. Gotcha. I there there's there's taking offense, and then there's not reacting to it.

Mhmm. So I think people can be hurt. How many I mean, you were hurt your not your entire.

Steve: A lot of your childhood, you were hurt.

Brad: Did you did you outwardly show it? I never outwardly show it.

Steve: So so

Brad: if a classmate saw you, he'd be like, oh, well, Steve doesn't it doesn't matter what Steve's parents say about him.

Steve: Right.

Brad: But it really did matter. It shaped your entire life. It shaped my entire life.

Steve: Yeah.

Brad: So just by the outward appearance that someone gives you Mhmm. Doesn't mean that they're not being

Steve: hurt inside, like, terribly. Yeah. Like like I said, I wanted to get that that perspective. So, let's see. Where else would I wanna go with this?

So now do you feel like you no you no longer have a chip on your shoulder?

Brad: I no longer have

Steve: a chip.

Brad: I've shifted from trying to prove my worth to just make an impact on this world. And that's why with my company, Express Home Buyers, I constantly am trying to help people. I mentor people. I'm looking at growth, like, strategically not to try to help myself, you know, prove my worth. And then all I do, I spend an hour a week in that and probably thirty five, forty hours a week in the coaching business Mhmm.

Just helping people. Like, I love taking someone who has no joy or an addiction or depression or shitty marriage

Steve: Mhmm.

Brad: And in five weeks, three to five weeks, completely transforming them. So, no, I'm just focused on impact, impact, impact now. And here's the interesting thing. Like I said earlier, my net worth has jumped. And if I'm back on this podcast in three or five years, I bet you, Steve, that more I will make more money in the coaching business Mhmm.

Not trying to. What I'm trying to do, I wake up every day, is how can I get more help and more success from my clients? And just by focusing on that, the money's gonna come Mhmm. Because I love it so much. I could literally sit with psychology books for eight hours a day, give me a beach umbrella on a beach for the next twenty years and never get bored.

Real estate, I'd be, like, ten minutes to a book. I'd be, like, ready ready to find another one.

Steve: Yeah. So we do have to get back to answering the question, though. Right? How are we doing so many deals working an hour a week? So we do have to answer that question.

So only because it's the title of the show. So what does your organization look like today? So you have you have one partner?

Brad: I have a partner. Yep.

Steve: You have a partner? And then you have, like, how big is your your wholesaling operation as far as body count goes?

Brad: As far as body count goes? Yeah. Yeah. So we've got, like, I think, 11 full time virtual assistants. Mhmm.

And then I think we have, like, 13 people in our home office in Springfield, a CFO, kind of assistant to a CFO, an operations person, my partner, a guy who heads up disposition, someone kind of in accounting and closing, and then five acquisition staff.

Steve: Five acquisition staff. Mhmm. They're different than the 13. You said so how many salespeople in Springfield?

Brad: 13 virtual assistants in The Philippine eleven, twelve, 13. I don't know how many we have now, in in The Philippines, and then 13 full time people in Springfield.

Steve: Okay. And Springfield is

Brad: Virginia, right outside of DC. So we operate in the DC Metro Area, the Baltimore Metro Area, and LA. LA?

Steve: Yeah. Got it. Okay. And so, are they doing it virtually in LA? Like, how is that working?

Brad: No. We actually had a a sales guy, home buying specialist move out to LA to be with his girlfriend. Mhmm. We are gonna have him close virtually. And about a year and a half ago, I'm like, why aren't we spending marketing dollars here?

So we started spending marketing dollars, and we're not killing it because we're not spending a ton, but we're we're doing well. It's it's been

Steve: pretty cool. So what is your primary marketing channel? TV. TV? Because you have a brand.

Right? I mean, you've been express home buyers for really Twenty years. Really long time.

Brad: Yeah.

Steve: So I imagine your brand is pretty well respected in that area. You have a lot of and you're talking about SEO. Are you still investing in SEO?

Brad: We've, a little bit. A little bit. We're getting ready to go through a pretty big kind of, like, rebranding cut. We're doing story brand as well. Mhmm.

And so we're gonna start doing a lot more things.

Steve: Yeah. Gotcha. So yeah. So you got basically 250 plus. That's between Virginia or DMV and, LA.

Brad: Yeah. 90 of the 4,000 deals we've done, 80%, 75% have been in probably DC. Mhmm. 98% have been in DC and and Baltimore metros. And then we've done we've done we've done deals in many states, but they're just like onesies, twosies.

Steve: Yeah. And I imagine you're probably bumping every once in a while with friend Frank.

Brad: Not much. No. Frank Frank is in Richmond. We're we're we're not doing much in Richmond. Richmond.

Oh,

Steve: so that's pretty Yeah. Far apart.

Brad: Two hours away.

Steve: Two hours away. Gotcha. Okay. So, hopefully, that can answer the question for you guys. How has this journey in in, you know, pursuing happiness, how has this impacted your organization?

Brad: Oh my gosh. Like, I was the guy who was driving all the chaos. I was I'm I remember a time I don't even remember. 2000 was it before the crash, after the crash? It was fifteen years ago, so it doesn't really matter, where I went to Virginia Beach by myself, opened an office, and hired, like, three people.

And we we yeah. Well, it was in 2008 because because I know why. Because I remember we couldn't even we didn't even have a system for keeping the brochure boxes filled in front of the houses we had in DC, but I was going to Virginia Beach to open a market.

Steve: Mhmm.

Brad: So chaos. I was always like, we did an exit exit interview with a guy one time. He said, if you don't like what Brad and Judd are doing, just wait a week. Because it was always just like shiny object. I'd be like, this this this this this this this this.

And it was all driven from from not when you don't feel enough, nothing is enough. Mhmm. You need more drinks. You need more women. You need more booze.

You need more money. It doesn't matter if you have a million dollars or $10,000,000 or a $100,000,000. Look at Prince Michael Jackson, Kurt Cobain, Amy Winehouse. It doesn't matter. When you don't feel enough, nothing is enough.

So nothing ever was enough. It doesn't matter how many deals we did. We gotta do more. We gotta hire more people. Why aren't you working harder?

Mhmm. And that's all changed. Now it's focused on, like, how do we make an impact? How do we do things? How can we help our seller more?

How can we get better reporting for our, our investors? Just impact. Impact. Helping people.

Steve: So if I were to interview Brad five years ago, would he be this demeanor, or would he, like, have a different demeanor?

Brad: He might have been going a little faster, but I get pretty excited when I talk about the happiness stuff. So Yeah. Yeah. I've I've slowed it down a bit.

Steve: So you were talking about how, you know, you're always chasing the next thing. Right? The shiny object syndrome. And I'm guilty of it as well. So one thing that's helped me a lot, in in going to the whale club and figuring out, like, how much do you really need?

And once I was able to figure out how much you really need, I will I am pushing everyone just a little bit less. Right? And figure out, like, what do we have to do to execute well? So before, it was, like, more, more, more deals, more deals, more. Let's let's let's add this marketing channel.

Let's add this marketing channel. Let's add this tool. Let's add this whatever. Now it's like, how can we just do what we're doing better? And it's a very different conversation.

Right? And so you're saying your team probably is a little bit relieved that Brad is not trying to crush this next thing, this next objective.

Brad: Yes. Constantly change, change, change. Like, let's just do let's just spend six months doing something. Like, we don't need to go double, triple it. Let's just have the revenue and the net income coming in for six months.

Alright? Just this and so I heard that, and I I took it and and, yeah, things things have been a lot more Yeah. Common.

Steve: Are you coaching your, your staff? Are you coaching your salespeople on all these principles?

Brad: I am. Yeah. Any any chance that I get, but I'm I've got some I've I've been busy with clients. So I had I had someone recently reach out on my team, and I've already started to help him through. We went through a breakup and yeah.

It's, the first person I ever helped was a virtual assistant, that had been in with us for a couple years, and she came to me a year and twenty two years ago. She had major anxiety. She was sleeping two to three hours a night. She had massive migraines. And in three sessions, her anxiety was, like, down.

No more migraines. She went from sleeping, like, three hours a night to eight hours a night, and she's, like, my relationship with my husband and my son have gotten so much better. So imagine how many people, if you're listening and you have employees, 83% of Americans identify as not being very happy. You have people on your staff right now in this bill, eighty three percent identify as not being very happy. Mhmm.

So you have people right now in your organization, Steve, that have addiction problems, marital problems, eating problems, self destructive behaviors. How do you think that's impacting your organization? It impacts everyone. So It does. So when you can when you can find this inner peace and inner happiness, like, your your income's gonna go up, your company's gonna get better, your health, your relationships.

It's a beautiful thing.

Steve: And I'm gonna do just a quick self plug for myself. So I got a chance to work with your team on the sales training. Right?

Brad: Yep.

Steve: What did you see in working with us on the sales training side?

Brad: Are we no longer working with you?

Steve: I'm not saying that you're not. I'm just saying what did you see from you?

Brad: Because when you said that in Jamil's event, like, I worked with him, I thought we were still working with you. And if we're not working with you, I was gonna tell my team Yeah. Let's continue to work with them.

Steve: No. I'm not saying that. I'm saying, like, because you were involved quite a bit.

Brad: No. The staff all the staff was always, always got a lot out of your and I was on some of those too a couple years ago. You do a fantastic job. You you were really helpful.

Steve: Yeah. And then do you think how much you know, because you study a lot of NLP. How much do you think NLP translates into running an appointment?

Brad: I don't know. A fair amount, I would say. Mhmm. I had a crazy high closing percentage because I was doing some closing after I went through my transformation. Mhmm.

And I think I got way better because I finally had empathy and compassion. And I looked at them as human beings and not so much as how much money can I make

Steve: off of them?

Brad: Mhmm. And I think people really connected with me. Yeah. So I think a lot of the stuff that you do is is kind of like what I teach. Just,

Steve: you know Different application.

Brad: Yeah. Like, just tell me, like, oh, you're not feeling great. Like, not feeling great? You know?

Steve: Yeah. It's funny. Right? Like, how much that stuff translates. I mean, like, NLP, you said you studied a lot of it.

Brad: I haven't studied a lot of NLP. A fair amount.

Steve: Yeah. Because, like, I went through, like, this whole like, this period of time where I was, like, reading every NLP book. You know? And it has to do like, it's funny. Like, it all comes a lot of it is derived from just studying one therapist.

Right? Milton Erickson. So they're just studying therapists. Like, Paul

Brad: hypnosis guy too. Well, he

Steve: was he was a natural hypnotist. So, like, this is a guy who hypnotizes people his whole life unintentionally. And all they did was just two therapists studying another therapist, and they came up with all these principles for neurolinguistics programming. Wow. So it's really it's it was, for me, it was a really interesting journey and stuff that I go I still go through from time to time.

So talk to me now. Like, what does your day look like now now that you're I mean, you you you have more purpose. I mean, when you started Brad Chandler Coaching, it wasn't for this.

Brad: I started at five I started in 2017. I shut it down because express homebuyers needed us. We went through a rough patch. I I reopened it or relaunched it, like, two years ago. Mhmm.

So, what do I spend my time doing now? Pretty much helping clients.

Steve: Yeah.

Brad: I have people come to me that have all kinds of different issues. A lot of people have racing minds because, because, again, they've got that proverbial line chasing them. They work too much, and it's hurting their relationships. They have eating problems, anxiety, a lot of anxiety. Mhmm.

And literally, we just have this five week process that that is just miraculous with the results, And the real magic comes in week three with the hypnosis. It's just I have not of this of this 80 people, 100 people I've taken through, there hasn't been one person who when that finished, they were like, oh my gosh. And I say, how do you feel? They're like, I feel like this weight has been lifted off my chest. Because we carry this burden of this I'm not enough.

I don't belong. I'm not lovable for all these years, and it's an untruth. You can't suffer if you live in the truth. I mean, do you know that most human suffering 99% of of human suffering is self inflicted? And it's it's inflicted by our thoughts, these untruths that were formed through childhood programming and trauma, that all you have to do is reverse them and everything changes.

Steve: Yeah. So you mentioned, you know, your net worth is growing. You can travel whenever. I see this nice photo, right, with you and your shirt off on the beach. Seems to be enjoying life pretty good.

Where do you see this going, like, down the road in in in your future?

Brad: I turned 50 this year, and I'm manifesting to live to be 110. When people come to us that have these this lack of self love, they always have relationship issues. Mhmm. So before I even took my first relationship person, I knew I was gonna get into relationships. So the next level so the individual, let's get you right.

And now that you're right, your spouse has to be right or there's gonna be some friction. Right? So let's talk about that. So it's it's individual relationships. And then I was literally, like, two years ago watching the show on, Gwyneth Paltrow Goop, and it was about sexuality.

And it opened my mind up to this whole new level of sexuality. So that I wanna make that a pillar. And then I'm a health and longevity nut. Right? So I wanna add that.

And then a lot of people that come to me as a byproduct of lack of self love, they have no purpose. They're like, I don't know what I'm doing with my life. So those will kinda be the next pillars. And, you know, I have visions of opening a wellness center in Costa Rica maybe. I'm a big boater.

So in the next year, I'm gonna have a bigger boat that has three or four cabins, and I wanna take a couple I wanna take, like, three or four couples every month and take them through The Caribbean or The Bahamas and do this transformative process in a weekend. So they come out with if they've got a bad marriage, they come out with, you know, just a completely different marriage and and lifestyle.

Steve: So let me ask you this, Rick. Because I want a bigger boat and, like, doing more things. And I struggle with this part still, right, with the well club because I know what I want. I know how much is enough. But just because I know how much is enough doesn't mean that I'm not still wanting to do more.

So am I enough or I am enough? Is that a violation, or is there an inconsistency of still wanting to do more even if you are enough?

Brad: No. Not at all. Because I'm enough, but I wanna make an impact. Mhmm. I have have been given this gift by Larry Mhmm.

That changed my life forever and will change my my generation of my family forever. Right? Mhmm. I've gotta give it back. And do I need to go prove anything?

No. I don't need to go prove anything. But I've got a gift. I'm amazing at helping people transform their lives, and I love it. So why why wouldn't I do more?

Why wouldn't I build this really cool company? But here's the difference. It's the first company I've ever started from when I was in seventh grade selling blow pops in school illegally that I didn't ever think about how much money can I make? It's always how many people and and how much effect can I have on people? Mhmm.

That's the difference. And it's it's so different when you measure it and you come at it from that standpoint. You look at everything differently.

Steve: Yeah. So you sold candy as a kid?

Brad: I sold candy as a kid. Yeah.

Steve: Me too. I got in trouble.

Brad: Me too. They shot me down. Yeah. I had, like, $70 in change, and I was like, I was I was, like, so rich.

Steve: Oh, I was making so much money. Right? Making $20 a week. Right? Buying candy for I was buying these little limon packets for 5¢, selling for a quarter.

So go to store $5, walk out which you know, after everything, $25. So it's $20 of profit. But it only lasted a couple weeks before I got shut down.

Brad: Steve, I would I would go to this CVS bottom. They're called People's Drug in Charlottesville, Virginia. I'd buy a bag of blow pops, the gum inside the lollipop. I'd buy one thing. I'd rip open the coupon because then it was, like, 15 sec cents off the next bag.

I'd buy the next bag. I think they were, like, $2.03, 4¢, and I would sell them between, like, 25 and 50¢. It was it was amazing. It's

Steve: a good deal. So you on top of what you got going on, you also started a podcast.

Brad: Yeah. So if you guys have any interest in, like, what we've been talking about, we we launch a show a week. We've got, like, 60, and we've got an amazing response from it. It's called how to be happier for entrepreneurs. And I get people on the show who who have had massive transformations, and tell their story or walk through their story, or I bring on healers who are also doing the work of of helping people have massive transformation.

So, yeah, definitely, it's on all the, you know, all of the big platforms in YouTube, how to be happier for entrepreneurs.

Steve: Yeah. That's awesome. So, you know, we talked a lot about impact and, like, childhood trauma. Actually, let me just talk real quick about childhood trauma. You know, we we already touched on a little bit, but, you know, Larry Ash was on the show here.

And one of the things he talked about was, like, childhood trauma. You're saying, like, it's not being molested. It's not being locked in the cage. It's that it's something that's impact impacted you your whole life. Right?

It doesn't matter the size. It doesn't matter anything. All that matters is did it affect you for more than twenty years? That is trauma. Right?

So, so you're you're doing a lot of different things. What is your why?

Brad: My why is that I have experienced something that I'd never thought I'd experienced in my life, and I was given a gift. And I and I wanna give this gift back to other people. When I get the text from, you know, we have a mutual friend in CG. I got a text from him saying, thank you for changing my life and my family's life forever. Yeah.

That's my why. That's my why.

Steve: That's impact. Right? Yeah. I mean, that's that's not just a little bit like, hey. I helped them through this hurdle.

It's like, you're changing this trajectory. Yeah. Alright. That's awesome.

Brad: Yeah. This person came to me with his marriage on the brink, and a year later, his marriage is is he'll tell you is amazing. Right? Yeah. And did I ever sit down and have a marriage therapy session?

Did I ever meet his wife? Did I ever talk to her? No. What I did is I got I got him loving himself and reconnecting with himself. That's it.

When we go through this stressful time, Steve, we disconnect from ourself. So the real essence here is just a disconnection from yourself. When you reconnect to yourself and start feeling your heart, everything changes.

Steve: Yeah. That's that's powerful.

Brad: And your heart now, they're they're realizing, is more powerful than the brain. If they there's a group of nerves in your heart Mhmm. Called the cardiac intrinsic ganglia. It is it from an electrical power standpoint, it's a 100 times more powerful. From a magnetic power standpoint, it's 5,000 more times powerful than the brain.

So they have done studies that show that your heart has intuition that knows eight seconds before something actually happens. So when you get connected to your mind, your your when you connect your heart to your mind, magic and miracles happen. But when you've gone through pain, when your heart's been shut down like yours and mine was as a child, we stop listening to the heart. There's another brain inside of our heart.

Steve: Right.

Brad: That's where the magic happens.

Steve: Yeah. Well, is that different than the gut?

Brad: It's totally different from the gut too. Yeah. Yeah. Without that's why I stopped drinking alcohol because I went through this thing called Brain Camp, and they give you the superfood. And without good neural without good gut health, you cannot have good neural health.

It's impossible. When you drink, you kill your good gut bacteria. So, yeah, the the body I mean, they have so much more to learn about the human body and the brain and the heart. It's it's silly.

Steve: Yeah. That's very interesting. Using interesting versus

Brad: It's good job.

Steve: Yeah. What is your biggest struggle today?

Brad: Biggest like, starting a company is hard. Right? I've I've done it once and I've scaled it, but I just I I underestimated it. It it it's there's a lot of moving parts. So it's just it's just here's my biggest struggle.

My girlfriend would tell you this, Yvonne. I just wanna do too much still still because I just wanna help so many people. She's like, Brad, before we put the gas down this is this is the the old Brad a little bit, I think. Mhmm. Before we put the gas down, we've gotta get all our systems right.

Right? Mhmm. And I'm like, no. No. No.

Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. So it's an amazing balance because she's kinda pulling me back, but I'm kinda pulling her forward too. Yeah.

So the biggest struggle is just still going at my own pace or not going at my own pace. Just slowing down and knowing that everything is happening. Mhmm. Everything in my life happens to me for a reason. Everything in your life happens to you for a reason.

So I have no bad days anymore. I'll never have a bad day the rest of my life because what I think is bad, who knows? My second wife up and walking out on me in my marriage, I thought during COVID, sorry, I thought that was the worst thing ever. Now looking back, it was one of the better things that ever happened to me. So you get to live your life as everything happens for you.

And if you do that, you're never gonna have a bad day again.

Steve: Yeah. Definitely. You know, one thing you talk about is this old brass showing up.

Brad: One of

Steve: the thing that we talk a lot inside the whale club is the power of restraint. Right? So, like, most of the population struggles with taking action. Right? That's just most people just they'd rather they're in analysis process.

Right? But then we got the sliver, this smaller fraction wants to go go go go go. And all we talk about whale club is like, hey. Like, go. Slow down a little bit.

Brad: Slow down.

Steve: Just slow down a little bit. Right? Just just let the other things catch up. Right? So it's it's a hard thing to to consistently remember.

Brad: It is hard. Because two years ago, I was still working a couple hours a week in Express Homebuyers, and I'd often would be like, I'm going kite surfing today, and I drive to Delaware Beach and I kite surf. Or my friend would call and she'd say, hey, do you wanna go, surf behind the boat, wake surfing? And I'm like, sure. I filled my schedule so much that I can't do that anymore.

And I'm thinking, like, why am I doing this? Like, I don't need to do anything. I could go to the beach every single day. I don't wanna go to the beach every single day because I wanna help people. So it's a balancing act.

I've gotta remind myself that, Brad, you know what? You don't need, and believe me, I I'm not perfect. Like, this is a this is a lifelong journey. Right? Mhmm.

So I put a lot on my plate, and then sometimes I get a little bit of, like, oh my god. I got a lot to do. And I'm like, no, you don't. You don't have to do anything. Show up for the client calls because you don't wanna miss those.

But other than that, you don't have to do anything. But my mind is, like, I wanna build all this great stuff because the more I build, the more people I can help.

Steve: Right. Well, you know what's possible. Yeah. And that's, for me, I'd say is is the biggest struggle, knowing what's possible. And then, again, like, what's enough?

So then how do you, right now, measure success?

Brad: Wow. Every day is a success. When when you wake up and you get to do exactly what you wanna do, that success. Success is also liberation. And my definition of liberation is not allowing any person or situation to negatively affect me.

And Larry said that Mhmm. Two nights before my my my exercise he took me through three years ago, and I thought to myself, this guy's nuts. Like, who how can anyone? And here I am almost three years later, and I can't tell you how close I am. Like, I hardly ever get angry or triggered.

And if I do, it lasts for seconds because I pull out in my head the joy regenerator that I was speaking about earlier, and I I run through the process. What am I feeling? Oh, I'm feeling sad, like this person is not respecting me. It's okay, Brad, you're feeling sad. Where is this coming from?

Oh, shit. My dad would make fun of me or hit me. Mhmm. But he but this person isn't my dad, so I'm gonna snap right back to joy. And and it's literally like nanoseconds or two seconds, and I'm back to joy.

Yeah.

Steve: Where whereas before, I used

Brad: to get pissed. Someone did something. Anytime someone challenged me or challenged who I was as a person, my little subconscious brain was like, see, I told you you weren't enough, and I had to fight. Right. Now I'm just like, ah, it doesn't matter.

If someone comes at you and they're attacking you and they're judging you, it has nothing to do with you. It has to do with their little six year old self. So you get to respond in in just the opposite. If you're judging another human being, you've got something inside of yourself that needs to be addressed. Yeah.

Because otherwise, you look at that person with compassion.

Steve: That was one of the ones that was not a zero. The judgment part. But, yeah, you know, you talk about, like, the this thing that that that makes you angry. I can say for sure, you know, the things that where I get triggered is not when people make mistakes. It's when I wanna do something and I can't do it.

Right? There's something I want to do. I can't do it. It's coming from a position of authority, right, that's restricting me, but not authority that I respect. Like, it's just like this combination.

Right? Just thinking back, like, in a movie theater. You know? When someone says you can't bring in your little brother because it's a radar movie. It's just like these little things where, like, I can't control my destiny is what triggers me.

Can you think of what that might

Brad: Well, that's lack of control. Yeah. Lack of control. And and you probably didn't have a

Steve: lot of control in your childhood because you were told you gotta take care of your brothers.

Brad: Mhmm. Stop your emotions. That's what it's from. Yeah. And that's probably why you're an entrepreneur too because you thought you could control things.

Steve: Yeah. Turns out that's not true.

Brad: No. You can't control anything in this world but your thoughts. That's it. Yeah.

Steve: You can only control how you respond.

Brad: Yeah. Responsibility. That's the word. The ability to respond. That's all life is.

Mhmm. All everything's gonna happen to us. No one's gonna be immune from things happening to them. It's just how do you how are you gonna respond? It's already happened.

Here, think about this. If your car if someone ran into your car, Steve, three hours ago and you didn't know it's not gonna upset you. Right? But when you go out there and look at it, it's gonna upset you. Well, it already happened.

So why is it upsetting you now? Yeah. Does that make sense?

Steve: I mean, it makes sense with the way the way you put it. Yes.

Brad: Yeah. So so so something happens. It's already happened. You get to be happy or you get to be pissed off and sad. It doesn't change what just happened.

It doesn't. So why be mad? Because every time when you're mad, it just releases cortisol, increases your inflammation, and now your your chance of illness, cancer, everything has gone up.

Steve: Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna have to snip at that because that's exactly how I feel. Right? When something bad happens, like, well, that sucks.

Okay. What are we gonna do about it? And then we're gonna move on. And, let's talk about that then. So that is my reaction to negative events, which is a good thing.

However, on the flip side of that, I don't have a wide range of emotions. Right? So some when something great happens, I don't get excited. Right? That's the downside.

Right? That does that make sense?

Brad: Yeah. So I don't think that's that bad of a thing to tell you through, Steve. Because when I tell people I don't know if you can see a lot of you can't see my hands, but I'm basically drawing a two inch line. Mhmm. I wanna stay in this.

I don't want anyone to negatively impact me, nor do I want any situation to positively impact me. Because let me explain this. Why? If some if something or some situation super, super gets me so excited, what happens when that thing is taken away?

Steve: I am past past the negative.

Brad: I'm gonna I'm gonna drop forever. Right?

Steve: Yeah.

Brad: When I think about when my second wife walked out on me, I went through this crazy dating spree. Mhmm. Had a

Steve: boat, like, I was living the life. I thought I was living life, but I really wasn't.

Brad: I was I was looking for validation. Woman woman to woman. Right? When I think back to, like, how excited I got about a woman, it was all the thought that, oh my my subconscious mind's saying, she's gonna be the one to give you what you never got as a child. So when I dated a healthy relate and by the way, that's a trauma bond.

So if you're listening to this and you're in this, like, infatuation stage with someone, it's really, really bad because that's a trauma bond. A good, lasting, loving bond is one where it grows over time. So in my most recent relationship, it wasn't this like, oh my god. I gotta have you. Well, she hadn't had she hadn't made as much progress as I did.

So she was looking for that person. So she blew me off twice and she laughed. She's like, I didn't blow you off. But she'll tell you, she had two guys that were paying more attention. I was

Steve: at the stage in my life where I didn't have to smother her like I used to do before because I needed her

Brad: to validate me. Now I don't

Steve: need it. That's how a

Brad: healthy relationship is built. So don't go out if you're getting meeting someone. Don't have sex for like three to six months. Build a friendship. This is no joke.

You want a lasting long relationship? Build a friendship that turns into something intimate.

Steve: Yeah. That's a valuable life lesson. What is your superpower?

Brad: I think my superpower is a mix of empathy with motivation and push. When I talk to people, I can really feel and relate to them. Mhmm. But I can also give them the, like, you've got it. I believe in you.

You're awesome. Like, push them along a little bit and get them into believing themselves. Like, give them the hope that things can get better.

Steve: So I've always looked at that as a leadership skill, but you're talking about in a way different than leadership. You're talking about in a way of believing others around you.

Brad: Is that I'm specifically talking about my clients and getting them because they come to me with lack of self love, most of them. Yeah. Getting them to believe that you can do this despite the shit you went through as a child because I wanted to compare my trauma to other people, and that's very, very common. It doesn't matter what level or what happened to you.

Steve: It's just how it affected you.

Brad: And so I've had some really bad cases, and I've had some not really bad cases. But they're all bad depending on how they they they they impacted them. Right?

Steve: Yeah. They all still imprinted your brain.

Brad: They all imprinted. Yeah. And and let's get back to bad. Were they bad? Was what happened to me bad?

Was what happened to you bad? No. Because if those things hadn't happened to me, I wouldn't be sitting here now. Someone on this listening to this right now is gonna take that quiz and their life is forever gonna be changed, forever. And their kids their kids if your kid has anxiety or depression and you wanna know the source of it, grab your spouse, grab by the hand, walk into the bathroom, and look in the mirror.

That's the source. That's the reason your kid has the problem. So had I not gone through what I went through, I couldn't be changing lives right now. So like you said earlier, I have no regrets either, man. Mhmm.

I believe that our souls pick our traumas. My dad was a very broken soul, and he died a broken soul. But so he didn't do the work. But did he do the work because he impacted me and now I'm doing the work and I impacted my son. And because of my impact on my son trying to get him, it's just crazy getting him help.

That's how all of this journey started.

Steve: Yeah.

Brad: It's just so amazing. My dad impacted me. I impacted my son in in trying to help my son. I figured it out, and now I'm gonna hopefully impact tens of thousands of people.

Steve: Yeah. I love that. What was the greatest lesson you've learned in your journey?

Brad: It's so simple. Your thoughts your your thoughts create every problem in your life, and those thoughts are usually untruth formed through childhood stress and programming. All you've gotta do is change your thinking and change your life.

Steve: Yeah. What is it, Zig Ziglar? You guys thinking thinking. Alright. So, what book have you gifted more than any other?

Brad: The Way to Love by Anthony de Mello. Far and above.

Steve: The Way to Love.

Brad: The Way to Love.

Steve: Alright. I have to check that one out. So I want you to think about a message I I'll leave all the listeners with. I'll make a couple of quick announcements. Guys, if you got value today, please support us.

Subscribe. Don't keep us a secret. A rising tide lifts all boats. Right? So, again, if you guys have value, please support us.

Give us five star review in iTunes. Subscribe if you're, watching on, YouTube. And, we do have a live I'm not sure live is the best word. We're having a remote virtual sales training event. So keep an keep an eye out.

Look for our emails. We'll be, giving you guys, some further details very, very shortly. So last thoughts, what what message do you want everyone to to walk away with here?

Brad: Yeah. I want you to know that if you're struggling or suffering in any way, shape, or form in your life, number one, it's not your fault. If you're in a bad marriage, you think you're you're a shitty father or shitty wife or whatever whatever it is you're struggling with, I want you to know it's not your fault. It's from thinking that created was created in your childhood through no fault of your own. And I want you to know that you deserve to have an amazing joyful life with deep, deep connections and really solid intimate relationships and all relationships.

And if you're struggling, no matter what you think you've tried, there is a different way. Mhmm. And over these last three years and working with, I think, some of the best people in the world, I've created this five week program. In literally in five weeks, I've seen countless people completely change their life. So if you think you're stuck and and things won't change, anything you're going through, I promise you the truth is everything can change and everything can change in a big way.

Whether you call me or not, I don't it doesn't matter, but just know that you can change your life and and impact those around you because you were put here for a massive mission. And if you don't know what it is, it's just because of this childhood stuff, and it can all be fixed in five weeks. So

Steve: Yeah. That's awesome. Thank you so much. Thank you. Oh, I forgot to say.

How someone wants to get a hold of you, what's the best way to do that?

Brad: Bradchandler.com. Yeah. Bradchandler.com.

Steve: Take the quiz, guys. We'll see you guys next time.